Parenting is a sacred responsibility that requires love, understanding, and guidance. In this modern age, where parenting can be both rewarding and challenging, it is essential to follow some guiding principles. These ten commandments on parenting provide a compass to navigate the journey of raising godly children:
1. Thou shall love your children as yourself:
This commandment is undeniable. Scripturally, we have been commanded to love our neighbours and even extend that love to our enemies. Truthfully, the children we have are our immediate neighbours. Recognising this, it is crucial for parents to understand that they are commanded to love their children just as they love themselves.
2. Thou shall know that your mental health is important:
Nurturing a child requires a healthy state of mind. When one’s mind is troubled, it poses a threat to the well-being of these children. Therefore, it is commanded that parents take a critical look at their mental health. When experiencing worry, stress, or confusion, parents must learn how to effectively interact with their children during such states. Additionally, seeking the assistance of psychologists or mental health professionals when needed is crucial. As a parent, one should never overlook the importance of mental well-being.
3. Thou shall know communication skills:
Parenting is not only a responsibility but also a profession in its own right. And like any other profession, one must possess strong communication skills. Many parents mistakenly believe that they can speak to their children in any manner due to their young age and presumed ignorance. However, parents must recognize that it is their commandment to understand how to communicate, when to communicate, and what to communicate when interacting with their child(ren). Children absorb and learn from every aspect of their parents’ reactions.
4. Thou shall know the difference between insult and rebuke:
As a parent, you are commanded not to insult your child(ren). Insults have numerous negative effects and are often a product of parental anger. This anger can lead parents to utter words that can have lasting impacts on their children’s future. Parents often forget that while their anger may dissipate, the hurtful words spoken during that moment remain. Instead, it is essential to rebuke your child with love, refraining from insults.
5. Thou shall be their mentor:
“Giving birth doesn’t make you a parent. Nurturing them does.” – Tonnie Baffoe. I have expressed this sentiment at various parenting events.
It is crucial for parents to recognise that they are mentors to their children. This role is an endorsement bestowed upon them. Parents are meant to guide their children along the path ordained for them. Therefore, it is important to understand the concept of mentorship and the role it plays in parenting. Acquiring knowledge about mentorship is vital as one embarks on this parenting journey.
6. Thou shall educate your children personally:
Every parent needs to understand that there is a distinction between education and schooling. As a parent, you are commanded to personally educate your children. Their schooling is just one aspect of the education you provide. It is important to recognize that while the government is responsible for overseeing the schools they attend, you are entrusted with everything that will help them become what God has ordained. Provide them with financial knowledge, teach them practical skills, nurture their behavioral well-being, among other things. These aspects are essential to complement their formal education.
7. Thou shall be spiritually mature:
Understanding children requires a spiritual perspective. You cannot rely solely on worldly matters when thinking about your children. Effectively dealing with children involves discerning the spiritual aspects that concern them. This spiritual maturity enables you to guide them in matters of faith and prayer. Your children need your spiritual maturity to help them grow spiritually as well.
8. Thou shall provide their basic needs:
This commandment is an essential obligation for every parent. It emphasizes the importance of planning before considering childbearing. It is your responsibility to provide your children with their basic needs.
9. Thou shall be their friend:
The essence of being a parent lies in the relationship you have with your children. This relationship defines the meaning of family. Your children are an integral part of your family and should be treated as loved ones. To achieve this, it is important to be a friend to your children. By being their friend, they will feel comfortable approaching you with their questions and concerns. Be their friend and avoid being overly authoritative. They need your democratic leadership to develop important aspects of their character. This approach will also help you to respect their opinions within the family.
10. Thou shall build a legacy for them:
They say a good name is better than riches. Why? Because your children need your good reputation to succeed as well. Material wealth can easily diminish due to inflation and other factors. Therefore, it is crucial to lead a life of integrity as a parent. This will help you create a positive legacy and reputation for your children. They truly need it. Thus, never live your life carelessly.
Special Note to Parents:
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Written by Tonnie Baffoe (Parenting & Family Life Coach)