“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18
The above scripture reveals the origin of marriage and God’s original intention for the man He created. It also highlights the man’s inadequacies and the need to fill that void. In my view, the term “helper” here does not imply that the woman is inferior to the man but that he functions better with her inclusion.
In Genesis 2:23, the man exclaimed, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” signifying that despite having all his bones, he recognises the missing bone in the woman, which completes him and makes him feel like a real man. Without a doubt, we can say that men are incomplete without women.
The word “suitable” is defined as something right or appropriate for a particular person, purpose, or situation. In Adam’s case, the New Living Translation in Genesis 2:23 captures the excitement and delight Adam expressed when he saw Eve for the first time. The Bible says this: “At last!” the man exclaimed. This excitement, combined with the surprise he encountered, serves as clear evidence that the woman was right, appropriate, and a perfect match for him. God fulfilled his desire for an ideal mate by creating women of different kinds and features that easily attract men, allowing every man to have his wife by choice. The physical appearance of women is thoughtfully designed to bring psychological and emotional stability to men for better functionality.
In Psalm 139:14, the Bible declares, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” This scripture explains how the human body is intricately woven and marvellously put together, embodying complete uniqueness. The human is both physical and spiritual. Physically, he operates through biological systems and mechanisms that set him apart from other animals, although sharing similarities with rats, as science suggests. Spiritually, he can be instructed, guided, and responsive to higher beings unseen by the human eye and to the Spirit of the Creator for restoration and guidance. Consider how wounds heal overnight and weakness is restored after a good rest. Indeed, the human body is awe-inspiring and marvellous.
There is an indescribable aspect of women that can only be felt intensely by men, wrapped in love. Men are methodical lovers, considering various factors such as beauty, taste or class, industriousness, and submissiveness when assessing a woman’s suitability in many ways, including her appearance. They also have expectations for the woman in their life and family. These considerations are meticulously pondered before a man expresses love toward a woman, although he may have made up his mind in the early stages of their relationship. Men often invest ample time studying and inquiring about the woman they intend to have a relationship with, all behind the scenes. Furthermore, men reserve the right to fully reveal their intentions to the woman at the appropriate time, which protects them from deep hurt when things don’t go as planned.
Contrary to men, women are not created to exhibit the same traits. They are wonderfully designed to receive something small and produce something more significant. They receive words of love and produce works of love; they receive money and produce food; they receive watery substances and make babies; they receive one man and have a family and a nation. Basically, women go straight into production without delay whenever they receive anything from a man, even if they are unwilling. This is how they were made. To them, receiving something from their husband is like receiving something from their Lord, which needs urgent attention.
However, because sometimes a woman’s unwillingness cannot wait for God’s design, she carries deep emotions, making her vulnerable to cracks when hurt. On the other hand, when men manage the feelings they receive from women through a respectful relationship, it softens their hearts and points them to love. It also arouses their ego and gives them the inner strength to be more protective as the head of the family, making them feel like real men. In return, men replicate these feelings towards their wives, enabling them to see their outward and inner beauty. This beauty drives them into ecstasy, causing them to act and behave in specific ways. Some may say that men are blinded by love or acting foolishly. Some men cannot contain this deep feeling and exclaim, like Adam, “At last, this is bone of my bones.”
In the scripture, man did not ask for a woman. He said to God, “the woman you gave me.” He could not have designed her if asked to do it himself. Instead, God carefully fashioned woman to complement what man lacked in his body, making him complete and allowing him to begin his kind in his own image. From how women handle things, their patience, attention to detail, and organisational skills, it is evident how wonderful they are. They always strive to get things right the first time and minimise waste. They are the soft and smooth spots in men. Science teaches us that the pelvic bone structure, the building block of a woman’s lower part, differs from that of a man due to childbirth. While men may appear rigid and strong, women are more flexible in their bodies, making them physically weaker.
Although women are stronger in certain aspects than men, men are generally considered more physically robust. Just like a well-polished surface is prone to dent and destruction, women are more susceptible to emotional distress than men. This is why both men and women are stronger together and weaker apart. It is not out of place to say that a man is only complete in the presence of a woman. The man cannot own the woman who complements him but must realise that his existence is in her. The owner of both of them is the Creator Himself.
Therefore, I assert that the divine mandate on marriage between a man and a woman from the start couldn’t have been possible without them being made male and female. Both males and females are called humankind, a kind of God’s creation with exceptional qualities, conscience, and reasoning above all other things created by God.
In the same scripture, from Genesis 2:24, God joins the man and woman together as husband and wife, enrolling them in a marriage institution without any foreknowledge. In Chapter 3, when they disobeyed God, the Lord’s covering over them was taken away, exposing them to the reality of their world. They became strangers in their own world, which they had lived in for some time. However, the merciful Lord gave them clues on living with the adversary who caused their downfall and still being happy. He defined their roles and revealed their identities for the first time, explaining why they were created with different features and reproductive organs. After this event, the woes of humanity began and continue until now.
Offering Unhindered Prayers
According to 1 Peter 3:7, married men are to live considerably with their wives, with an intelligent recognition of the marriage, honouring their wives as physically weaker but realising that they are joint heirs of God’s unmerited favour. These four causes are crucial for married men to note and work on if they want God to hear their prayers swiftly. It is important to emphasise that married women are NOT the cause of their husbands’ prayers being hindered, but rather the way married men treat their wives.
- Live Considerably with Your Wife:
Married men are urged to study their wives, know them well, and understand them before making decisions that may negatively impact them. Each woman is unique, and her needs should be carefully considered. In living with a wife, it is important to understand that she is the weaker one, and it is the husband’s responsibility to either help her rise to his level or lower his standards to her level. Women always expect the best from their husbands, even if it means sharing limited resources.
- Intelligent Recognition of the Marriage:
Marriage is an institution where a certificate is acquired before lessons are taught. While the topics may be the same, each marriage’s course contents differ. Intelligence in a marriage requires seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit, who can reveal problems and provide solutions. An intelligent way to live with one’s wife is to adapt and learn new things, think about pleasant surprises, forgive quickly, and avoid bringing up past issues in current arguments. Above all, married men must view marriage as God does, with all players being equal shareholders. The Bible is the greatest tool for an intelligent recognition of marriage.
- Honouring Your Wife is a Continues Process:
To women, honouring means respecting, appreciating, praising, and caring for them, and this should be an ongoing practice. Treating a woman with dignity and respect, especially in the presence of others, is something she will appreciate for a long time. Honouring one’s wife should be holistic, both publicly and privately. Married men are encouraged to treat their wives honourably as they would treat the Lord.
- Couples Are Joint Heirs of God’s Unmerited Favor:
In Hebrews 2:11-12, it is mentioned that both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. Marriage is seen by God as a practice of His kingdom and is accompanied by favour from the Lord. However, both partners’ weaknesses can destroy the marriage. Thus, it is essential for married men, as the heads of their families, to preserve this unmerited favour so that their prayers may be effective. When married men lift their hands in prayer, they should do so with their wives included. A failing marriage may not produce the sweet aroma of prayers God answers.
Married men must live considerably with their wives, have an intelligent recognition of their marriage, honour their wives continuously, and understand that they are joint heirs of God’s unmerited favour. These principles are essential for maintaining a strong spiritual connection and ensuring their prayers are not hindered. It is not the wife who is the cause of God not answering or cutting off the husband’s prayers; instead, how the husband treats his wife has an impact. Marriage is a sacred institution that requires both partners’ love, respect, and understanding to thrive.
Written by Pastor Joseph Zoot