“A lie does not become truth, wrong does not become right, and evil does not become good just because it is accepted by a majority.” – Rick Warren
Moral decadence continues to rise globally. It has become a more widespread phenomenon rather than just a Western lifestyle or culture, as initially thought. However, as believers guided by the principles and values of the Kingdom of God, it is essential to understand that you and your partner are not roommates until you are married. The consequences of cohabitation and sleepovers have significant effects on the spirit, soul (mind, thoughts, and feelings), and body, often leading to psychological problems like anxiety, stress, paranoia, and depression, among others. 1 Thessalonians 5:23 indicates that God expects our spirit, soul, and body to remain blameless until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. In this article, we explore the implications of cohabitation and sleepovers.
COHABITATION AND SLEEPOVERS
Cohabitation refers to the practice of a man and woman living together and engaging in sexual relations without the legal or formal commitment of marriage. This arrangement has become increasingly common among young adults. Research shows it is prevalent in Western countries and is on the rise among university students in Ghana. A recent study conducted by lecturers at the University of Cape Coast revealed an increase in cohabitation among students, with many performing marital roles such as cooking and cleaning for their partners.
Sleepovers, on the other hand, involve a one-time or recurring overnight stay at another person’s home, often with a partner of the opposite sex. While some may engage in this intentionally as part of their relationship, others might do so due to unavoidable circumstances. However, sleeping over at the home of the opposite sex creates a tempting environment that could lead to sexual indulgence or even instances of sexual assault. Therefore, it is advisable to avoid such situations, regardless of the circumstances.
REASONS FOR COHABITATION AND SLEEPOVERS
Many believe that cohabitation allows couples to assess their compatibility before making a formal commitment, reducing the potential complications of divorce if the relationship fails. This view is inconsistent with Scripture, as it encourages a lack of faith in God and in seeking God’s guidance when choosing a partner. Others argue that cohabitation helps couples spend more time together, reducing the separation caused by jobs or distance. Some see it as a practical way to reduce living costs, such as rent and food expenses, while others believe that since the relationship will eventually lead to marriage, cohabitation is a natural progression.
However, despite these seemingly logical reasons, studies indicate that couples who cohabit are more likely to break up than proceed to marriage.
DISADVANTAGES OF COHABITATION AND SLEEPOVERS
“If a man chooses cohabitation over marriage, his fears are bigger than his love for you. Move on.” – Allene Van Oirschot
The Bible admonishes believers to flee from sexual immorality and avoid giving the devil an opportunity (1 Corinthians 6:18; Ephesians 4:27). Cohabitation often leads to premarital sex, which the Scriptures explicitly condemn as sin. This lifestyle poses not only physical risks, such as unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), but also spiritual risks, as indulging in such acts can lead to forfeiting eternal life (1 Corinthians 6:9; Galatians 5:19-21). The fleeting pleasures of this world are not worth the loss of one’s soul (Mark 8:36). Premarital sex interferes with the believer’s relationship with God, and one must not let temporary pleasures jeopardise their salvation.
Cohabitation also delays marriage. Why would a man think of spending on marriage or being committed to only his wife if his partner already provides him with all a wife would do for her husband? Genuine commitment should lead to marriage, not prolonged cohabitation. Moreover, studies show that cohabiting couples often have less trust in each other, which weakens their motivation to invest in the relationship. Marriage requires grace from the Holy Spirit, and that grace is available when couples follow God’s ways.
For students who engage in cohabitation or frequent sleepovers, their academic performance often suffers. Much of their time and energy is spent performing “spousal duties,” which can negatively impact other areas of their lives, including education. While they may indulge in frequent sexual intimacy, their overall personal growth diminishes. Generally, overcommitment, such as cohabitation and sleepovers, often leads to long-term heartbreak and bitterness if the relationship does not result in marriage.
Children born to cohabiting parents also face challenges. Research indicates that these children are more likely to exhibit behavioral problems and struggle with social relationships compared to those raised by married parents. The absence of a stable family structure hinders the proper upbringing of children, increasing the likelihood of having children with multiple partners as relationships frequently break down due to perceived incompatibility.
CONCLUSION
Cohabitation and sleepovers are like fire—they threaten your garment of purity and mental health. As children of God, we are called to be the light and salt of the earth. In a world where divorce rates are increasing and ungodly examples in relationships continue to rise, let the Word of God be your standard. Do not let anyone use cohabitation or sleepovers to blackmail you or threaten you with a breakup. Neither is proof of love. Remember that any demand by your partner to prove your love at the expense of obedience to God’s Word and the values of the Kingdom of God will only lead to sin, distraction, and destruction. Choose to follow God’s way, avoiding cohabitation and sleepovers, and pursue relationships that honor Him.
