After the excitement of a proposal, when the answer is a joyful “yes,” couples enter a blissful phase where love flows naturally. Everything seems perfect, and every moment together feels golden. You effortlessly appreciate your partner, smiling at the smallest gestures. The constant tingle in your heart reminds you of the deep connection you share, and even a few hours apart feel like a lifetime. Your phone stays close, waiting eagerly for a call or text, and when it finally comes—like a prophecy fulfilled—the world feels right again. Long conversations seem to pass in the blink of an eye. In these early days, love feels boundless, pure, and magical. The journey you’ve started together is warm and heartwarming, overflowing with joy.
But inevitably, as with every great journey, there comes a time when the path grows difficult. The desert moments arrive.
All relationships and marriages are guaranteed to experience these desert moments. Just as a real desert is often dry and barren, with little to offer in terms of sustenance, these moments feel devoid of the nourishment love once easily provided. The water that once quenched your thirst for companionship and connection seems scarce, and what remains might not even seem usable. The lush trees that once bore the fruits of joy and fulfillment have disappeared, leaving a barren landscape of emotional drought.
In this season, relationships become stagnant. What once felt like a natural flow of affection has dried up, and the sparkling excitement that once lit up your heart has dimmed. Instead of drawing you closer together, the forces that once united you seem to push you apart. Even small things become sources of irritation. The relationship feels like it’s grinding to a halt—stunted, pale, and unresponsive. Welcome to your desert moment!
As unwelcoming as this season may seem, the desert moment is crucial to the journey of love. It is a time of testing, refinement, growth, and capacity building!
If you entered this relationship with a strong conviction, this is the opportune time to prove it. Did you enter this relationship with a deep conviction in its worth? If yes, then tighten your seat belt – this season will test that belief. True conviction, grounded deeply in the soul and spirit, stands firm in any storm.
This is my little advice to you in the desert moment. Put in a little extra work! Be intentional in your communications; go the extra mile to ensure the relationship survives and thrives. This is the time to ask yourself: How deep is your belief in this relationship? If your conviction was true from the start, then you will do your best to sustain the relationship, no matter how dry and barren the desert moment feels.
Think about the foundation of your relationship now. Every enduring relationship starts with a solid foundation. During challenging times, the strength of that foundation becomes evident. When storms arise, it’s the anchor that holds the relationship steady. If the foundation is weak, cracks begin to show. But there is hope: even a fragile foundation can be rebuilt, and there’s no stronger cornerstone than Jesus Christ. I recommend you build it on Him alone. As the scripture says, “Therefore, this is what the Sovereign LORD says: Look! I am placing a foundation stone in Jerusalem, a firm and tested stone. It is a precious cornerstone that is safe to build on. Whoever believes need never to be shaken” (Isaiah 28:16 NLT). With Christ at the center, your relationship can weather even the harshest desert moments. If this season reveals weaknesses, don’t despair; let it be an invitation to seek guidance, rebuild, and grow stronger.
One of the greatest blessings of the desert moment is that it forces you to see clearly. In the early days of your relationship, the joy and excitement often blur you to reality. You are caught up in the euphoria of love, so much so that you don’t have the chance to truly assess your partner—or even yourself. This is not to say that either of you is hiding your true nature. However, the joy of new love often overshadows any flaws or areas for growth. Now imagine if that euphoria lasted forever without a desert moment. You would never be able to fully understand the dynamics of your relationship. The desert moment, as challenging as it is, offers you the opportunity to see your partner more clearly. Their strengths and weaknesses come to light, as do your own. You may be surprised by how much you learn about yourself during this time.
However, this season is a double-edged sword. It can either deepen your connection or threaten to end it. The choice is yours: you can let it drain joy and hope or face it head-on and emerge stronger. As Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” The desert moment offers both challenge and growth. Which path your relationship takes is up to you!
To conclude, while the desert moments in relationships are difficult, they are also necessary. They test your convictions, reveal the strength of your foundation, and offer you the opportunity to know both yourself and your partner more deeply. Most importantly, they offer you a choice. Will you let the desert consume your relationship, or will you use it to grow stronger? The power is in your hands.
Choose wisely, and embrace the journey.
Written by Michael Boakye (Elder)Suame Area, Kronom District, Macedonia Assembly
